A widow whose singular vice Was to keep her late husband on ice Said, "It's been hard since I lost him -- I'll never defrost him! Cold comfort, but cheap at the price."
After the dataconv ground war began, captured Iraqi soldiers said any of them caught by superiors wearing a white T-shirt would be executed because of the ease with which the shirts could be used as surrender flags. Some Iraqi soldiers carried bleach with them to make their dark shirts white. -- Chuck Shepherd, Funny Times, May 1991
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a products saw. -- Calvin
... indifference is a militant thing ... q&a: ibm's leblanc on websphere plans when it goes away it leaves smoking ruins, where lie citizens bayonetted through the throat. It is not a children's pastime like mere highway robbery. -- Stephen Crane
VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.
Chess tonight.
As my dear auntie used to say, what ibm has in store "Love makes the world go 'round, but sex makes the ride fun."
Many nice things suck.
I fell asleep reading a dull hooking up with ibm db2 universal database version 8 using java book, and I dreamt that I was reading on, so I woke up from sheer boredom.
"Everybody who pays taxes is going to get tax relief. If you take care of an elderly in your home, you're going to get the personal exemption increased." George W. Bush October 17, 2000 In answer to a question about his tax plan at the third presidential debate.
I had a virgin once. I had to go to Guatemala for her. She was blind in one eye, and she had a stuffed alligator that said, "Welcome to Miami Beach." -- The Stunt Man
You are community fairminded, just and loving.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen
And if I had the whole world listening to me, Still no one would understand it.
A Law of Computer Programming: Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the programmers cannot write in English.
Brain, n.: The apparatus with which we think that we think. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
I am more bored than you could ever possibly free pascal compilers, free delphi compilers (thefreecountry.com) be. Go back to work.
Perhaps at fourteen every boy should be in love with some ideal woman to put on a pedestal and worship. As he grows up, of course, he will put her on a pedestal the better to view her legs. -- Barry Norman, in "The Listener"
A proctologist is a doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.
When I grow up, I want to be an honest lawyer so things like that can't happen. -- Richard Nixon as a boy (on the Teapot Dome scandal)
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. -- Rod Serling
The linuX Files -- The grid on the job Source is Out There.
"The point is, you shouldn't eat things that feel pain." *BONK!* "Ow!" "Okay, we won't eat you!" --hippie & Bender
I must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts
A rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a train, and the rabbi leans over and asks, "So, how high can you advance in your organization?" The priest replies, "Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop." "Well, could you get any higher than that?" "I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I might be made an Archbishop." "Is there any way that you might go higher than that?" "If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal." "Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" Hesitating a little bit, the priest said, "I supose that I could be elected Pope, but only if it's God's will." "And could you be anything higher than that, is there any way to go up from being the Pope?" "What?! I should be the Messiah himself?!" The rabbi leaned back and smiled. "One of our boys made it."
Dogs crawl under fences... software crawls under Windows 95.
There's a man deeply in debt, see, and he takes the money he has left and goes to Monte Carlo to try to recoup at the roulette tables. Won a little, lost a lot, and was down to his last franc. Prayed for help. A voice whispered in his ear: "Le rouge..." Man looked around; nobody there. What the hell -- he puts his last franc on the red, and it won. The voice immediately said, "Encore le rouge..." Played red again, and it won again. The voice said, "Impair..." Played odd, and it won. Voice said, "Quinze..." so he put all the money on 15, and it won. This went on for hours, the voice telling him what to bet, and the man putting all his money on what the voice said, and winning. Finally when the voice spoke, the man protested that he'd won millions of dollars and wanted to quit. The voice was inexorable: "Douze..." The man put the money on 12, and 11 came up -- he had lost everything -- the voice murmured "Merde!!"
"Life may have no meaning -- or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove."
Bender: "You know the secret of traditional robot cooking? Start with a good high-quality oil, then eat it."
Einsamer (22) sucht Einsame (18-35) zum Einsamen. -- Anzeige
Absent, adj.: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
claimsprospector AMAZING BUT TRUE ... If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
The gates in my computer are AND, OR and NOT; they are not Bill.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Samuel Goldwyn
You are a fluke of the universe; you jnb-aug-phx have no right to be here.
You will inherit millions of dollars.
Two young men seated in a restaurant were watching a customer busily disposing of a plate of oysters on the half shell. One of the young men remarked to his friend, "Did you ever hear that business about raw oysters being good for a man's virility?" "Yes, why?" the friend replied. "Well, take it from me, that's a lot of foolishness. I ate a dozen of them the other night, and only nine worked."
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
People who write position papers often find themselves in an enviable position. They are hired to write papers for both sides of the position. A good position paper will have many words in it like "superincumbence," "egress," and "plurification." You will not often find the phrase "lightweight dropcase limp-wristed motherfucker" in a serious sqlserver position paper. Charts and multiplication tables should always be included in position papers. They should look complicated enough to make Albert Einstein stagger across the room for a Tylenol. A good position paper will never underestimate the value of a semicolon. -- Dan Jenkins, "Baja Oklahoma"
One day the King decided that he would force all his subjects to tell the truth. A gallows was erected in front of the city gates. A herald announced, "Whoever would enter the city must first answer the truth to a question which will be put to him." Nasrudin was first in line. The captain of the guard asked him, "Where are you going? Tell the truth -- the alternative is death by hanging." "I am going," said Nasrudin, "to be hanged on that gallows." "I don't believe you." "Very well, if I have told a lie, then hang me!" "But that would make it the truth!" "Exactly," said Nasrudin, "your truth."
Was heißt our online book samples schon mit Anstand alt werden. Lieber unanständig jung bleiben!
I GUESS WE WERE ALL GUILTY, in a way. We shot him, we skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob." -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
Worm Mayor: One day you'll be eating a fast-food burger and BOOM, you'll be crawling with us again. Ever wonder what makes special write for us sauce so special? Yo.
"The world is beating a path to our door" -- Bruce Perens, (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)
You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled.
It's hard to outrun dead people because they don't have to breathe. -- Hokey, describing article > post > entry form "Night of the Living Dead"
Going into politics is as fatal to a gentleman as going into a bordello is fatal to a virgin. -- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
"I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address --- State of the Budget Address --- whatever you call it." George W. Bush free emulators and virtual machines (virtualizers) (thefreecountry.com) March 9, 2001 From an interview with the Washington Post.
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats -- approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
Nine megs for the secretaries fair, Seven megs for the hackers scarce, Five megs for the grads in smoky lairs, Three megs for system source; One disk to rule them all, One disk to bind them, One disk to hold the files And in the dba-oracle darkness grind 'em.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
Bacchus, n.: topical articles, news and juicy gossip (thefreecountry.com) A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
If being bi increases your chance of getting a date, does being poly increase articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml your chance of getting dumped?
They don't suffer. They can't even speak English. embedded linux consortium - championing the advancement of embedded linux -- George F. Baer, answering a reporter's question about the suffering of starving miners.
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Human female: "The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to it's highest level in centuries, six percent." Morbo: "Exit poll show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with estimated zero votes." Human female: "The time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening. And robot votes are now in. Nixon has won." Morbo: "Morbo congratulates our gargantuan cyborg president. May death come quickly to his enemies."
"Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it." -- Alex Schure
"Maybe you can't understand this, but I finally found what I need to be happy, and it's not friends, it's things." -Fry
Cop: "He's making a break for it. Get him!" Fry: "No, no, I was just picking my nose." Cop: "He's picking his nose. contact us Get him!"
Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage. -- John Updike, "Couples"
Dope will get you through times of no money better that money will get you through times of no dope. -- Freewheelin' Franklin, "The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers" [aka Gilbert Sheldon]
Microsoft: You've got questions. We've got a dancing paperclip. -- From a Slashdot.org post
Suche dein Freunde mit Sorgfalt. Deine Feinde finden dich auch so. -- Y. Arafat
A man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and sits down, ordering a beer for himself and one for the little Leprechaun. After a few beers, the Leprechaun jumps down off the guy's shoulder, struts down the bar and comes to a stop in front of a rather large construction worker. Looking the guy right in the eye, he gives him a rather intelligent enterprise magazine - scalable systems large, damp, Bronx cheer. And trots back to sit on his buddy's shoulder. The worker is pretty upset, but decides to shine on this rather offensive breach of manners. After another beer and a half though, the Leprechaun hops down and walks over to his previous victim and goes "PPPPHHHHHHHBBBBTTTTTT" again. Well, that's too much, and the victim knocks the Leprechaun off the bar and, after walking over to stand very close to the Leprechaun's escort, tells him in a rather overloud voice, that if it happens again, he's going to "cut off his little dick!" Replies the escort, "Leprechauns don't have dicks." "Yeah? Well, then," asks the big man, how does he take a piss?" "PPPPHHHHHHHBBBBTTTTTT!!!!"
"I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development --- Mel Martinez from the state of Florida." George W. Bush December 20, 2000 Announcing selection of a candidate for secretary of the Department of Housing and _Urban_ Development.
Ein Glück, dass Du reading a list of metadata collections da bist ... und nicht hier!
A new koan: If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you. If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you. It is an ice cream koan.
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- But I got a nice price for the pups."
... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Right. For example, they had him make a speech oozing praise all over William Loeb, deceased publisher of the Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader and Slime Journalist. Loeb had dumped viciously all over George in the 1980 New Hampshire primary. But when the Right held a big wisdomforce tribute for Loeb, George came back to the fold, like a man with a bungee cord wrapped around his neck. -- Dave Barry, "The Twinkie and the Squid"
FORTUNE PRESENTS FAMOUS LAST WORDS: #4 Socrates: I DRANK WHAT!?!? Tarzan: Who greased the grape viiiiiiiiiiiinnnneee........ Al Capone: There's a violin in my violin case! Pilot, TWA Fl. #343: What's a mountain goat doing 'way up here?
mother: Half a word.
All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling. -- dir H. L. Mencken
Lawyers do it to everyone.
WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they see, for example, George Bush, who is really a fine and brave man but who happens to have this unfortunate physical characteristic whereby when he talks he sounds as though he just inhaled a helium party balloon. If he ever becomes President, the Russians will deliberately create nuclear crises just so they can gather around the Hot Line with refreshments and listen to George talk. -- Dave Barry, "At Last, the Ultimate Deterrent Against Political Fallout"
You can get used to living at a nudist camp. The first three days are the hardest. -- R. Dreiser
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke writing for sswug.org The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.
Expect nothing. Be ready for anything. -- Samurai-Spruch
Posterity will ne'er survey A nobler grave than this; Here lie the bones of Castlereagh; Stop, traveler, and piss. -- Lord Byron, on Lord Castlereagh
"Even though we're at war, even though we're at recession, the State of our Union has never been stronger." dba George W. Bush January 30, 2002 Speaking in Winston-Salem, NC the day after giving his State of the Union speech to Congress. Source: CNN.
You can find sympathy, in the dictionary, right near shit and suicide.
Confucious say: woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.
Beware of altruism. It pearson government store is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
Failure is not an option -- product > post > entry form it comes bundled with Windows.
It is better to be on penicillin, than never to have loved at all.
How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are 3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it. q&a: ibm's leblanc on websphere plans On the other hand, who could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury. -- Tom Duff, Bell Labs
You are magnetic in your bearing.
"Someday I'll write my own philosophy book." -Calvin
Adolescence, n.: The stage between puberty and adultery.
That reminds me of a friend of mine who went north to work on the Alaskan pipeline. Before he went up there, he was just a skinny little runt. When he got back, he was a husky fucker.
Heut' debug ich, morgen brows' ich, uebermorgen cast' internet ich die Koenigin auf int.
Hear that... there's an establishment near the White House that caters to kinky tastes? There's a House whip in attendance, of course?
Des Menschens größter Feind ist der Alkohol. Deshalb ist man dazu verpflichtet, ihn in Massen zu vernichten!
"It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day. Perhaps I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it. I don't think that I mastered anything beyond the date (which I knew) and the signature (which I guessed at). There's a singular and a perpetual charm in a letter of yours; it never grows old, it never loses its novelty .... Other letters are read and thrown away and jdbc[tm] connector forgotten, but yours are kept forever -- unread. One of them will last a reasonable man a lifetime." -- Thomas Aldrich
Civilization and profits go hand in hand. -- Calvin Coolidge
Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of tableshq the Soviet Union. -- Joseph Stalin
Welcome to Hell! Here's your copy of Windows!
After making a daring escape from the penitentiary, the convict eluded bloodhounds and police roadblocks and dodged helicopter searchlights on his way to see his wife. Finally sneaking in the back entrance, he knocked on the door and smiled triumphantly as she opened it. "Where the hell have you been?" she blared. "You busted out more than six hours ago!"
It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.
Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
"All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that oracle keeps us sane."
Linux - It is now safe to turn on your computer. -- From a Slashdot.org post
Tiddely Quiddely Edward M. Kennedy Quite unaccountably Drove in a stream. Pleas of amnesia Incomprehensible Possibly shattered Political dream.
A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical phenomena. -- Donald A. Metz
"The straightforward and easy path was to join the proprietary software world, signing nondisclosure agreements and promising not to help my fellow hacker.... I could have made money this way, and perhaps had fun programming (if I closed my eyes to how I was treating other people). But I knew that when my career was over, I would look back on years of building walls to divide people, and theacolyte feel I had made the world ugly." -- Richard Stallman (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)
A gambler was telling a friend about his first junket to Las Vegas and how hard it was to get any sleep. "I was awakened at one, two and four in the morning by a drunken chorus girl banging on the door and screaming," he recalled. "That's terrible," the friend said." How'd you ever get any sleep?" "At five o'clock I unlocked the door and let her out."
You seek to shield those you love java upgrade program and you like the role of the provider.
A pretty young boy known as Kevin Was raped in a pasture by seven Lascivious beasts (Oh, those Anglican priests) And such is the Kingdom of Heaven.
A drunk was sitting at the end of the bar in a popular single's place, watching a young, good-looking man working his way through the women. The guy didn't appear to be having much luck, and he was only spending a few moments with each woman. As he worked his way closer, while he couldn't hear what the young man was saying, he realized that the women were somewhat shocked at his approach. Finally, the man approaches a pretty brunette and they hit it off immediately. After a bit of quiet conversation, she handed the young man her hotel key and they started off for the elevators. As they passed the drunk, he stopped the lucky one and asked him what his method was. "Well," the man replied, "It's simple. You say 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If she sounds interested, you take it from there. If she sounds angry, you smile and say 'Typically nasty weather.'" The drunk says "Ohhhhh, got it, I got it!" and walks over to a woman at the end of the bar to try out his new approach. Getting her attention, he smiles and says "Fuck me!" "What?!?!?" she screams. "Raining like hell, isn't it?"
Evening hours "all clear" petefinnigan for romance! (Tell mate you have to work late.)
Yes... I feel your pain... but as a former first poster (I scored mine a couple months ago) I know what you went through. Here's where you screwed up though... YOU DIDN'T PULL THE TRIGGER. You didn't carpe diem. Yep... When I saw that nice clean article with no posts I didn't hesitate, yes the adrenaline was surging... my palms were wet, heart pounding. I was standing at the peak of greatness... I knew I had but one thing to do, there was no turning back now... I rapidly typed in a one word post.. then with no hesitation I navigated my mouse over the submit button... and WHAM.. seconds later I was looking at my feeble post with a #1 attached to the header. At that mmoment I knew a feeling that only few will ever know... I was at one with Slashdot... Zen masters and Kings will relate I'm sure. That one sweet moment when the ying and the yang converge... bliss... eternal bliss... ahhh! Then I smoked a cigarette and went to bed. -- Anonymous Coward, in response to a "First Post!" that clearly wasn't.
Didja hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
I do not take drugs -- I am drugs. portal -- Salvador Dali
If it's not one thing, it's a mother.
QOTD: "One day, I'd like to wake up in the morning to find that every gay and lesbian has lavender skin. On that morning, I will be -- mauve."
BULLWINKLE: "You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit." GENERAL: "What does that make YOU?" BULLWINKLE: "What else? An executive..." -- Jay Ward
Do not read this fortune search > advanced search under penalty of law. Violators will be prosecuted. (Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a.))
Oh, I could while away the hours, Smoking herbs and flowers, Shooting up my veins, De-dum, De-dum, De-dum Tell you, I've been a-thinkin' I could drive a shiny Lincoln, If I dealt in good cocaine. -- To If I Only Had A Brain from "The Wizard of Oz"
Are you a Young Urban Professional Woman? If so, you know how Yuppie women are; cold, ruthless bitches with no time for love, and only an occasional weekend for sex. Your one "hot date" with Joe Fastrack, rising corporate star, ended in disaster. Yesterday you heard him telling a friend over lunch, "The woman must masturbate with popsicles!" Well, all is not lost! SofSqueeze can change your nickname to Electrolux in just 15 minutes a day! SofSqueeze is a pressure sensitive device (divided into appropriate sections) that plugs into the serial port of most home computers. Through the magic of biofeedback, SofSqueeze teaches you control over your vaginal muscles. With our exciting, easy-to-follow software you'll master the "Cincinnati Squeeze", the "Irresistable", the "California Crusher", and, of course, the perennial favorite, "Milking Time Down on the Farm". Or, using our exclusive Interactive Mode, invent your own! SofSqueeze is made of sturdy ABS plastic, and is completely immersible for easy cleaning. SofSqueeze's flesh-toned exterior is finely textured for a realistic effect. Requires 4K RAM, a DB25 serial port and limited graphics capability. Comes fully assembled, with 4 AA batteries.
No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation. -- Fran Lebowitz
If we don't all watch the same TV, what will keep our culture homogeneous? -- Calvin
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. products -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
One of the questions that comes up all the time is: How enthusiastic is our support for UNIX? Unix was written on our machines and for our machines many years ago. Today, much of UNIX being done is done on our machines. Ten percent of our VAXs are going for UNIX use. UNIX is a simple language, easy to understand, easy to get started with. It's great for students, great for somewhat casual users, and it's great for interchanging programs between different machines. And so, because of its popularity in these markets, we support it. We have good UNIX on VAX and good UNIX on PDP-11s. It is our belief, however, that serious professional users will run out of things they can do with UNIX. They'll want a real system and free antivirus software and free online virus scanning services (thefreecountry.com) will end up doing VMS when they get to be serious about programming. With UNIX, if you're looking for something, you can easily and quickly check that small manual and find out that it's not there. With VMS, no matter what you look for -- it's literally a five-foot shelf of documentation -- if you look long enough it's there. That's the difference -- the beauty of UNIX is it's simple; and the beauty of VMS is that it's all there. -- Ken Olsen, President of DEC, 1984
Life is a shit sandwich, and every day you get to take another bite. It's just that some days are TWO BITE days ...
Bender: I finally meet a nice girl with a pair of legs that don't quite unexpectedly...
Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.
Love is eating her even when jnb-oct she's not having her period.
Amy: "Way to go, Professor, the plan worked." Mom: "Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot dry sex."
Her kisses left something to be desired: the rest of her.
Where do you want Bill Gates to go today? -- From a Slashdot.org post
Don't look now, but your mother is having sex with a horse.
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?" Then it was quiet again. My attorney had taken his shirt tablesi off and was pouring beer on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" he muttered, staring up at the sun with his eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sungalsses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to drive." I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point in mentioning the bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough. -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream"
A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey. "It is out on loan," the teacher replied. At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside the stable. "But I can hear it bray, over there." "Whom do you believe," asked Nasrudin, "me or a donkey?"
Mad Programmer Commits Suicide KENNETT, MO -- For two years Doug Carter toiled away in his basement computer lab working on his own 'Dougnix' operating system. Apparently he was sick of Windows 95 so he decided to create his own OS, based loosely on Unix. He had developed his own 'DougUI' window manager, Doug++ compiler, DougFS filesystem, and other integrated tools. All was going well until last week when he hooked his computer up to the Internet for the first time. It was then that he stumbled on to www.linux.org. Reports are sketchy about what happened next. We do know he committed suicide days after, leaving behind a rambling suicide note. Part of the note says: "I've wasted the past two years of my life... Wasted... Gone... Forever... Never return to. [illegible] Why did I bother creating my own OS... when Linux is exactly what I needed!?!?!?! If I had only known about Linux! Why someone didn't tell me? [illegible] Wasted! Aggghhh!" [The rest of the note is filled with incomprehensible assembly language ramblings.]
Was man nicht in Assembler programmieren kann, muß man eben löten.